Wednesday, August 29, 2007

drawings & notes from the 'Formalhaut" sketchbook 05/06

Here are some notes that are in this sketchbook. I know that they are contradictory. Normally, I think a person has one ideology. During the period of this sketchbook- mine completely split in two. On one hand I was still a believer in existentialism and Nietzsche. While my other side was developing it's own interpretation of spirituality and god. Ever since that happened I've been in a certain state of internal civil war.

1. The sun scares me. It's a constant reminder of time in motion. For days now I've been having a paranoia that the sun's going to go out. And we won't be able to do anything about it. We'll simply cease to exist. The sun is both the cause of our existence and our anxiety. To me it's the absolute "look".

2. Why People Invented God. Our mind is based on logic. This is a process of rational calculation. In our existence, our mind always has a hard time calculating it's own death. "It is here now, so how can it cease to exist?" So, in the mind's equation, to balance out death, it created "god" since that clearly overcomes death. Existence - Death = God

3. Rationality (common sense) is neither a tool of a religious fanatic or an ultra liberal.

4. 'It's only art if it sells.' I remember you saying that. That's bullshit. Because the world changes and so does the definition of art. In today's society, true art is what does not sell, and you cannot buy it.

5. On Death. Some of us (especially intellectuals) talk about death. How "nothing really matters". How at the end it's "all just in vain". Yet so few of us have actually witnessed it, this thing, this event that we dread so much...Death.

6. God writes in flesh. God did not write the Bible or any holy book. The bible has been written by man. In order to bring themselves oh-so-much-closer to God. The only thing that God actually wrote is us, or to be more precise, our genetic code. Which is indeed, a divine piece of writing-in flesh.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

from the napkin

In the house of my mother
at the room of the dead,
among the faces of my ancestors,
I find the half-shattered mask of my father.
My mother said, "I only kept what was mine."

Monday, August 20, 2007

New Ink "Arabia"

I do little walks around Center City while I'm on my break from work. I love looking at different apartments and buildings, usually thinking how it would feel living in one of them. What would it be like listening to one of my favorite records, in that cool modern interior? But today, there was a slightly different thought in my head as I was looking at the insides. I thought to myself it would be nice to actually die in that sort of environment. Surrounded by good architecture, solid design, a general feeling of security; instead of a place that is a reflection of one's own demise. (That is if the person was to die in the slums, or the apartment that I live in now.) All the imperfection and the decay just adding to the probable feeling of nausea that accompanies death. So in case one cannot secure a preferable place of passing for himself, a faster way (such as by a cab, or out the window) is indeed advisable.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Old sketch from 03

I found this sketch during the recent move. It was used for a small oil painting that I have since sold. My fascination with gas masks goes all the way back to when I saw the video

"Radio Ga Ga" by Queen. I was only 5 but it made a big impression on me. It was futuristic and strange- and yet strangely familiar due to the fact that outside of my seventh- story-window I could always see the center of Warsaw. With the Palace of Culture ( with all it's totalitarian might) luming over the city. The whole city was dark and moody very Metropolis. The city has changed a lot since then , for the better.

Personally, I still belong to the old one.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Sketchbook (Zadiel) '04

Well, this week I decided to post sketches from one of my older sketchbooks. Honestly, I felt kinda uncomfortable doing it, and I don't know if I'll ever do it again.

Recently while looking through my sketchbooks, I was like "whoa." There was so much energy and passion put into those sketchbooks. My approach to them today has changed. Now, I just do studies drawn on anything- napkins, scrap paper, etc. Also I noticed that my sketchbooks themselves, have shrunk in size.

Anyway, the majority of those skectches have been used for final projects, or involved in some way.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Evolution of Incubator

Incubator originally was based on an earlier ink, called Embalmer. (see older posts) I changed the design, especially the legs, and continued to evolve the arm that holds the brain- very much to my satisfaction. Also, in the new ink there is a fundamental difference in my approach to light. I would like to think of it as an improvement. I no longer approach the ink in terms of light and shadow, instead it's foreground and background. The light is still there but its absolutely simplified to cater more to the graphic aspect. At this point, I do acknowledge that I have bestowed upon myself a sort of orthodoxy. Example: I use no brushes. I feel that will have to change.
One of my inks also got on the Juxtapoz website, on there last week. (which was nice) In the past months I had mixed feelings about my ink work. I invest a lot of energy into this stuff, and it's nice to know somebody appreciates it.